A week

 A week has gone by and still you aren't here,

My eyes and my mind are far from clear...

I feel like my memory has somewhat halted,

What had kept me on the ground is no longer bolted...


I never really understood, perhaps because I never lost,

I never really understood how much it might cost...

Not in money, not in a financial way,

No, it's more like...It's like...How should I say?


I lost my dad, it was quick, within a day,

Absolutely in no way could he have been able to stay.

His heart was bad, so very sick...

He was on drugs and a machine to help it continue to tick...


Dad, well...It wasn't like we cuddled a lot,

Saying 'Love you' and kissing on the cheek we did not...

We were more like cheeky mates, saying a lot of nothing,

Yet, it was like we said a lot of something...

 

We must have somehow gotten close,

For me to feel so rotten and gross.

Taken by surprise, to feel so tired and low,

I've become so sleepy and slow...

 

I feel like some of me is in denial,

Perhaps a part of me is going senile...

Is this how it really is, when someone dies?

It's like your whole being just blows up or fries!


I thought, 'Hey, he's ganna want that when he comes back!'

At this time, realism is what I lack...

Looking at his belongings, in his room,

Well, it might as well be called a tomb...


How are we supposed to sort out all of his stuff?

Is it supposed to be...So harsh and rough?

Having to deal with Funeral proceedings, on top of all of that,

Who has the stomach for all that kind of chat!?


A week, it's gone...And so are you,

In another week, will it be the same too?

A week just passed, the world is still going,

The rain has come, the wind is still blowing...


Time is apparently something I need,

As much as I'd prefer to plead...

Plead for you to return, to be with us all,

That you'd turn your head, whenever I'd call.


But you won't, even after a whole week...

Photos and memories, in which I seek...

I just miss you, the week has been long,

I want you here, where you belong...


I know, time will probably heal me,

But right at this moment, it's you I want to see...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not that insane...

Because I am glad that you are no longer in pain...

 

I'm just caught up in my own head,

Thinking about my own pain instead.

It's time 'to be strong', 

Yet, it just sounds so very wrong...

 

It's almost like I want to be weak,

That I want the world to stop and be bleak...

Why do I want to stay this way?

Why can't I look forward to the next day?

 

Don't worry dad, I'll be normal in no time!

That 'sane' ladder is what I'll slowly climb!

Being sad that you're gone is good though right!

I'm right, I know it, there's no need to fight!


You just stay where you are and rest!

It's what you probably need, probably what's best!

I'll stay here and slowly go on...

After another week, another one will be gone...



Written by TLCsDestiny for her late father who died on 21/11/23


RIP


 








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